To live or to die?

I have frequently thought about a passage from Philippians 1 since I was diagnosed with cancer.  The apostle Paul is in a Roman prison and awaiting trial.  He does not know what is going to happen to him.  He could be found guilty and killed for fomenting dissension and rebellion against Rome or he could be exonerated and set free.  In vv. 19-20 he asserts that he knows that by their prayers and the help given to him by the Spirit of Jesus these circumstances will result in his salvation. The reason for his confidence is that he knows he will have courage so that he will not be ashamed but that Jesus will be honored in his body, whether by life or by death.

This is such an important thing which Paul says.  He knows that going on trial and being faced with imminent death could cause him to be ashamed of Christ, to not hold fast to him and thus dishonor Christ.  However, he also knows that by the prayers of God's people for him and by the help which the Holy Spirit will give him he will have courage and not be ashamed but will hold fast and honor Christ whether he lives or he dies.  So here is a great thing to be praying for any Christian you know that is undergoing suffering: pray that the pain and stress will not cause them to be ashamed of Christ and thus dishonor him but that he or she will have sufficient courage to glorify Christ no matter what happens.

Then Paul makes one of his most well known statements which has been the source of countless Christians' ability to withstand all manner of suffering (v.21): "For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain."  Then in the next couple of verses he explains what he means by this succinct declaration of Christian faith and motivation.  Here is what he says in vv.22-25, "If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell.  I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.  But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.  Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith..."

Paul's whole life is about Jesus: knowing him, trusting him, loving him, obeying him, proclaiming him.  But he knows that what he knows of the beauty and worth of Jesus in this life is nothing compared to what it will be like in the next life.  Therefore, as he wants Christ more than he wants anything else he wants to die and to be with Jesus most of all.  Here is the very challenging thing he asserts: dying and being with Christ is "far better" than remaining alive here.  The emotion he is reflecting here is not hard to understand.  We enjoy "skyping" (is that even a word?) with our son and daughter-in-law and our 4 grandsons (with another on the way) in Kentucky.  And our circumstances require that this is how we relate at this time.  However, if we could choose our current situation or being with them, well...being with them is far better.  We would gladly, if it were possible, go live near them.  However, it is not possible for many different reasons, but mostly because our work is here.

John Piper asks a very difficult, challenging, even frightening question in view of Paul's sentiment which is to be the sentiment of every born again child of God.  He asks: "If you could go to heaven and enjoy perfect health, eat your favorite foods and spend your time doing the things you most enjoy and be with all your favorite people and all this without any guilt BUT Jesus was not there, would you want to go?"  He says that how you answer that question reveals whether or not you are truly a Christian.  Because to the Christian, the greatest good, the highest joy is to be with the one who has saved her and who is the object of her highest affections.

Paul is confident, that in spite of the fact that his fondest wish is to be with Christ, that this imprisonment will not end in death because he knows that the Philippian church and many others still need him to preach and teach the gospel.  He knows that he is still needed so that through him others will make progress and have joy in the faith.  We are not told whether or not this confidence that he is going to keep on living is the result of a "special revelation" from God or simply the result of his personal reflection on the situation.

I cannot speak with the same confidence which Paul has in asserting that I am going to survive the cancer.  However, it certainly does feel to me that my remaining in the flesh is more necessary for my wife and my children, especially for Jared, my grandchildren and my dear friends and brothers and sisters in Christ at River Hills Community Church.  It does not feel to me that my work is done.  Yet again, there are many far more faithful and fruitful Christian husbands and fathers and grandfathers and pastors who have been struck down early in life, when it appeared they had far more to do.  So I guess we pray for courage to hold fast and not dishonor Christ in life and in death and we ask God to kill the cancer so that I can finish the work God has for me to do.