Escaping self-pity

The temptation to self-pity is very large for those who suffer.  "Why me?!" is often heard on the lips of those in pain.  The intensity of the cry increases as sufferers see how pain free are the lives of so many other people.  Particularly if you are person who has sought to be faithful to Christ and you see people who have no concern for Jesus doing very well, while you are subjected to difficulties.  Fortunately for us God knows us so well and he inserted a psalm written by a believer in exactly this situation.  Psalm 73 starts well but quickly goes downhill into self pity.  Here are the opening lines:

"Truly God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.  But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped.  For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.  For they have no pangs until death; their bodies are fat and sleek.  They are not in trouble as others are; they are not stricken like the rest of mankind."  You can see where he is going.  Wicked people flourish in spite of their wickedness.

After 7 more verses of describing the prosperity and arrogance of the wicked he says this about himself: "All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence.  For all the day long I have been stricken and rebuked every morning."  All I have recieved for my faithfulness is trouble.  I'm stricken and rebuked every day even though I have sought to faithfully follow the Lord.  Does this sound familiar?  I think every believer has been here on ocassion.

So where does he go from here?  How do you get yourself out of the self-pity trap?  First, he did a really smart thing, he did not give voice to his pity, except to the Lord.  He exercised self-control and kept his mouth shut because he knew that this kind of talk will spread like wildfire.  He knew that if he sowed these seeds of unbelief and grumbling he would have betrayed God's people and caused all kinds of  chaos.  In our voyeruristic, put it all on Facebook world, we would do well to follow his example.  Being honest and authentic doesn't mean you say everything you think.

At the same time he acknowledges that understanding why it is that the wicked flourish while those who trust in God suffer is a very difficult thing to figure out.  The obvious injustice that is in the world is hard to square with a sovereign, good, just God.  But then he says, I went into the sanctuary.  He went to the temple of God.  He says that it was while in the temple that he discerned the true end of the wicked.  This is what he figured out: "Truly you set them in slippery places; you make them fall to ruin.  How they are destroyed in a moment, swept away utterly by terrors!  Like a dream when one awakes, O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms."  What he realizes is that their prosperity is temporary.  There is a time coming when God will arouse himself and at that time they are destroyed in a moment, forgotten like a dream, swept away by terrors, despised as phantoms.

Now, what did he see in the temple that informed him of the end of the wicked?  He doesn't specifically tell us but we do know what is going on in the temple.  Animals are being sacrificed as payment for sins in the temple.  He sees and smells death in the temple.  Blood is everywhere and a fire burns on the altar of burnt offering continually.  He is reminded that the wages of sin is death.  The temple reminds us that God's wrath is real and that all sin deserves death.

His thoughts then turn from what is going to happen to the wicked, to all who do not trust in Christ, to his own situation.  First he realizes that even while he was immersed in self-pity and questioning the goodness of God (He calls himself a brute beast with an embittered heart), yet God was still with him.  God was holding him by the right hand and guiding him with his counsel.  His sinful questioning did not cause God to abandon him.  He is certain that God will hold him and in the end bring him into glory.  In other words, he understands his situation is also temporary.  The knowledge of that grace causes him then to see reality.

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.  But for me it is good to abe near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all your works."  The suffering believer eventually comes to see that to belong to God, to have God himself as our refuge and portion and strength means that we can lose everything this life can give us and yet have lost nothing.  Being near to God is all that matters.  He is what makes heaven, heaven and he is better than everything on this earth.  It was in seeing the shadow of the cross revealed in the temple that enabled him to see reality.  Christ died for us so that we will know that to belong to him is the best thing in the universe.  He did not die to give us an easy life on this earth, to make heaven on this earth but to bring us to glory, to that eternal home where he will be everything to us.

The fact is that without the trouble we will not learn this.  We need the trouble to show us that to be near God is what matters, not to have a trouble free life on this earth.