We just returned from our annual 2 week vacation in Door County. We normally go in mid July but last year there were so many dead fish on the beach where we stay that it was unusable. So we moved our vacation to late in August to make sure we did not encounter rotting fish again. This worked out perfectly with my chemotherapy as my last treatment was Aug 6 and we left for Door County on Aug 11. Thanks be to God for his arranging this for us. It was a very refreshing time spent with my children and grandchildren, mainly hanging out on the beach. It was also the most spiritually refreshing vacation I've ever had. I was able to do a lot of reading of good books and the Bible. I was strongly encouraged as a Christian and as a pastor by the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer as I read a new biography written by Eric Mataxas. I would strongly encourage everyone to read it.
Although I am no longer sick and weak the neuropathy in my hands and feet have gotten worse. They are very numb. I cannot button my buttons or untie knots and typing is very difficult as I do not feel the keys with my finger tips. The doc tells me that it should gradually get better and be gone in 6-8 months. I would appreciate your prayers for God to heal this numbness as I do a lot of writing on the computer.
A passage which the Lord used to encourage me is Psalm 118:18 which reads: "The Lord has disciplined me severely but he has not given me over to death." The psalm is about Jesus as v.22 is quoted numerous times in the NT in reference to Jesus. Thus v.18 is a description of how God the Father treated his Son. He disciplined him severely by subjecting him to the miseries of this life and ultimately to his suffering and death on the cross. However, even though he was severely disciplined by the Father, even to death on the cross, yet the Father did not give him over to the power of death but raised him from the dead. Thus, I am to see my cancer and the hardships associated with its treatment as God's discipline, just like my Savior. And, because of Jesus' living and dying and rising for me I also can say with Jesus that the Father has not given me over to death either. I too will be raised to life, victorious over death by the grace of God.
As I have said before, when we read of God's discipline of his children, including his only Son, we must not think in terms of punishment but of training, instruction. It is the love of God expressed in hardship to train us to prefer Christ and obedience to him above all else. In fact, Hebrews 5:8 says exactly this about Jesus, "Although he was a son he learned obedience through what he suffered." So once again we find this fact stated in the Scripture that all of our hardships are God's loving discipline of us and a sharing with Christ in his sufferings so that we learn that the love of God for us and our love for God, our obedience to God is better than everything this life offers. No matter how severe the discipline God sends it can never compare to the severity of that discipline that our Lord suffered. No matter how severe the suffering God sends to his children he will never give them over to death but will raise us to life with Christ at his return. This is our hope and our confidence in the midst of the trouble.
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