Good news

Yesterday I went in for my chemotherapy infusion.  The procedure is that I have blood drawn at 10am for lab work.  Then I wait an hour for it to be completed before I see the doctor.  We talk about how I am doing and he checks my labs and my lungs and my abdomen.  As I told him my ongoing struggles he said that I will only have to have the really bad chemo, oxyplaten, one more time.  The last two times I will just have the less toxic chemical, 5FU, which is infused through a portable IV pump I wear over 46 hours.  Presumably, those last two treatments should not be accompanied by the overwhelming weakness and lack of appetite and general malaise that has been my experience the previous 9 times.  I thank the Lord for this kindness while praying that he will use the chemicals as I will have received them to kill the cancer.  Thank you for praying for me.

The last chemo week, when I was feeling most down, both physically and emotionally/psychologically, in my daily reading I read Psalm 86, a psalm of David.  It was very helpful.  It is a prayer for God to help him when he is in distress.  Here is how it begins: "Incline your ear, O LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.  Preserve my life, for I am godly; save your servant, who trusts in you--you are my God.  Be gracious to me, O Lord, for to you do I cry all the day.  Gladden the soul of your servant, for to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.  For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.  Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace.  In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me."

Here are the things he asks for:

• Incline your ear and answer me
• Preserve my life
• Be gracious to me: that is, do not treat me as I deserve, but show your favor in spite of my sins.
• Gladden the soul of your servant (Personally, this is what I most earnestly asked for that week).
• Give ear to my prayer, listen to my plea for grace

He gives reasons to God as to why God should answer him.  In order they are:

• "for I am poor and needy."
• "For I am godly", by which David means, "I trust in you, you are my God."  David is not saying that God should answer him because of what he has done but because of who he trusts in, relies upon, which is God himself.  Here is how Hebrews 11:6 states the principal: "And without faith it is impossible to please God because everyone who draws near to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who diligently seek him."  David here exhibits faith diligently seeking God in prayer.
• "For to you do I cry all the day"
• "For to you do I lift up my soul"
• "For you are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you."
• "for you answer me"

So David acknowledges his need and then goes to the only one who can help him, to God himself.  He trusts in God's goodness and grace and steadfast love and his promise to respond to all who will call upon him.  He asks God to both preserve his life but also to "gladden his soul" while yet in the midst of the trouble.  A soul is made glad as God assures the person of his love and of the glorious future that awaits all who will continue trusting him to the end of life.

May the Lord gladden your soul and mine with a sensible knowledge of his love for us in Christ.